Sometimes, It Isn't About You

This is the intro part. It's where I ease you back into my rant that's about to happen with something funny or relevant or a promise we all know I won't keep about how I won't do it again. 

Phew, now that that's done. 

UGHHHHHHHHH. 

So I know I said I didn't want to talk to you about Christianity anymore because you can't touch me, but then I saw this thing and it made me too mad. TOO MAD. 

So here's the thing. Haha, Ricky Gervais, you're hilarious, and thousands of people think so too. Good on you, have a cookie. Except don't, because you're doing that thing that people do where they hate on people of faith for literally no reason.

You want to hate on Christians for all of the SHIT that they actually do? Be my frakking guest.  (I'm probably going to say "Christians" a couple of times when I really mean "religious people" because I am a Christian and it's more personal to me and yada yada, but don't think I think Christians are better or more deserving or what-have-you than Jews, Muslims, etc. because that is like the OPPOSITE of my point) We do some shitty stuff. We kill people in the name of a God who expressly forbids killing. We badger people who don't want us to talk to them because we believe it's our divine duty. We hate people who are different. We use outdated, out-of-context scripture to try and force people to abide by rules TODAY that fit our ancient moral code. We do some shitty, shitty stuff. I'm not saying we don't. And I'm using "we" because even though I try my damnedest not to do any of this, I realize that I don't get to call myself a Christian and pretend like I'm completely separate from all of that crap. 

So if you want to hate on us for that stuff, or call us out for that stuff, or disagree with us for that stuff, whatever. I've already discussed how I don't want to talk about it personally because I'm sick of it, but that doesn't mean you can't bring it up. Doesn't mean you can't judge us, because some of us certainly "judge" you based on the rules of our God.  Say you hate organized religion and think the church is corrupt and does more harm than good. Fine. Say you think Christians are self-righteous, deluded assholes who read old fiction as truth so they can sleep at night still discriminating against people who make them uncomfortable. Sure. You are at perfect liberty to do these things, and in fact you would have valid points most of the time. 

But us praying for you? THAT IS NOT ONE OF THOSE THINGS. THAT'S NOT ONE OF THE THINGS YOU CAN HATE US FOR WITHOUT BEING A PRICK.

When someone says they're going to pray for you, it's not to earn your goddamned recognition. It's to frakking help you, because they care about you. It is not something we throw around for brownie points. You think there's a part in the Bible where it says if you pray for more people you get a special heated seat in heaven? Do you HONESTLY think that we only say that so that we don't have to "do anything that takes any effort"?

The only time I have EVER heard ANYONE say those words in seriousness was in a situation where not much could be done. That is, illness, death in the family, extreme misfortune. If you go up to someone on the street bleeding and ask them to call 911 they're not going to say I'll pray for you. That would be stupid. We turn to God when hope is fleeting and we don't know what to do anymore. News flash: That has nothing to do with trying to manipulate how you feel about us. 

Here's another kicker: Christians do not exist to annoy you.  We don't actually do everything we do to bother you or give you something to complain about with your atheist friends. Sometimes, we do things because were are FUCKING PEOPLE. Sometimes we do things because we believe in God. It's not a hoax, or a scam, or some conspiracy to trick you. It's what we BELIEVE. 

And so you know, praying is an intensely personal and intimate experience. We don't sit at night and pray for all the suffering in the world; there just isn't time. We pray for things that matter to US, because we need to bring them to God because earthly methods have failed to comfort us. We pray about things that are deeply emotional and utterly OUR OWN, because God is where we turn when we feel most lost and in need of guidance. I'm not asking you to be honored, or comforted, or grateful, or even pleased that we decided to pray for you. I'm asking you to acknowledge that to us, it means something, and writing it off as attention-seeking is one of the shittiest ways to respond.

Maybe you don't want to be prayed for. Fine. But don't go around saying we're lazy assholes for offering.