You Will Lose This Battle Every Time

Every now and then, I get a spike of pageviews, and I swear to God they're all from Russia.
So, hi Russia.

Anyway here's the thing. I'm not gonna talk to you about my personal feelings like TOO much because this is the internet and the internet is forever and blah blah blah. But let's do something small and uncomplicated and if you try to make it big or complicated I will hurt you (but not really, because I have no way to get to Russia).

I'm a Christian. That's a thing. I don't want to talk to you about it, really, because I'm the kind of Christian who's all "it's between me and the big guy" and "if you're nice I don't see why you shouldn't go to heaven" and  "I totally get why you're an atheist sometimes I wish I were an atheist" and "no judgment, bro." So it's all very personal for me and also NOT A BIG DEAL.

Like, is it important in my life? Of course. But that doesn't mean you should judge me about it. I probably spend as much time dreaming up sexual fantasies as I do thinking about God, and if you want me to explain all of those to you you have another thing coming.

The point is, you can still be my friend, they won't take away your atheist card. And you don't have to insult me about it. This part, I say for you. Because

I DON'T GIVE ONE SINGLE SHIT.

Honestly, you can't touch this. Maybe you have logic on your side, but I have an omnipotent being who can literally turn you into a pillar of salt if he feels like it. There's no fighting that.  And I believe in that. So why are you trying to convert me or insult me or tell me I'm small-minded?  Why on earth would that bother me?

SPOILER ALERT: IT DOESN'T.

So you're only really succeeding in making yourself look like a dick, which I guess is kind of a public service because now we all know to avoid you. But bashing religion-people just isn't gonna help anyone. Bashing atheists isn't gonna help anyone either. THERE'S NO POINT.

Just stop. Stop with the "religious people are stupid" and the "God is illogical" and the "but science!" I don't care. You're only wasting breath.

The end.