Stop Wasting Time

Fellas, let's be real. 

We need to stop hating on good people because they once or twice did a shitty thing. Here's some news: People are human. Humans make mistakes. So by the Transitive Property of Equality, yes, math, people make mistakes. 

That doesn't mean that you should just let mistakes slide. It's perfectly reasonable to call people out on their mistakes so they can hope not to reproduce them, particularly if those mistakes upset you in some way. That's okay. In fact, do that. 

But don't hate a person because of it. Just don't. Plenty of really good people to bad things sometimes. And I'm talking here about being offensive -- people saying something that can be described as anything-ist. 

Because it does happen. Good people say bad things. 

The thing is, you're wasting your time hating them. If you decide you can't support a person because they've said one or two or even several bad things over the course of a long, generally well-intentioned and open-minded career of saying decent things, you're being unreasonable. And more importantly, you're pulling focus from where it belongs. 

As my friend Charlie says, plenty of people work really hard to be assholes. So when you spend your time tearing down the good people -- or even just the okay people -- because they said this thing once, you're making it okay for the Professional Assholes to keep being assholes. You're saying that only good people need to be held accountable. 

The truth is everyone needs to be held accountable. But once you hold them accountable, you can stop. There's no need to boycott an entire person. 

I just...why?

You Need Five Wheels, Right?

SNAPPY INTRO.

So I like to think of myself as a strong independent woman who don't need no man and all, and usually that's pretty true. But lately? God I've been lonely.

I've never really had a bunch of friends who were dating. In fact I've never really had friends who were dating. One of them kinda went out with this guy freshman year of high school, but she's so secret about everything that I didn't even know till it was over. And then my best friend has been in this relationship for a year, but I've never actually seen them interact because it's long distance. Sometimes I forget she has a boyfriend.

And then college happened. Suddenly, everyone's dating. And I didn't expect that to happen at all, because at first they were all very casual fun-times whee-college let's-make-out-with-strangers sort of stuff. Which wasn't really my cup of tea (because what is flirting? and romance? and people?), but I was fine with it.  But nowadays....

They're just all suddenly dating.  Each other. So I'm hanging out with my friends, in just our normal group of friends, and BAM everyone's kissing. Except me in the corner.

I hate it. More than I want to admit, really, I just hate it. I want to be all happy for them, and I am. I want not to care, and I don't. But all of the time there's just this burning rage in my stomach because they have something I don't and I don't see why I shouldn't.

It's not so much the lack of boyfriend, really. I've never had a boyfriend, and I was never really that shook up about it. All through high school it didn't really keep me up at night. But now that my friends are all dating each other, they spend more time with their significant others than their friends, which is all fine and good and appropriate. Except when each of my four friends, dating one of each of my four friends, spends more time with their significant other than with me, that equals zero people left with me to fill the gap.

Not that I only have four, those are just the ones I see most. Stay with me.

I just don't like losing them to each other, to be honest. I'm an attention junkie, I know this about myself. I feel best when people pay me a lot of attention. When they're too busy with romance, there's less time for that, and my mood drops.

And of course this sounds whiny and immature, because it is.  I'm not even looking for a relationship right now because I don't think I would have the time, but I'm just such an outsider. It's driving me insane. And there's no one really to complain to because all of my confidantes are sort of the source of the problem, and they are all beyond sick of hearing me talk about it. And look, I'm whiny and self-absorbed, but I'm not a terrible person. I don't want to poison my friends' happiness. I do want them to be happy.

It's just hard when i want more than anything for all of them to save each other for the bedroom and notice me.

You Will Lose This Battle Every Time

Every now and then, I get a spike of pageviews, and I swear to God they're all from Russia.
So, hi Russia.

Anyway here's the thing. I'm not gonna talk to you about my personal feelings like TOO much because this is the internet and the internet is forever and blah blah blah. But let's do something small and uncomplicated and if you try to make it big or complicated I will hurt you (but not really, because I have no way to get to Russia).

I'm a Christian. That's a thing. I don't want to talk to you about it, really, because I'm the kind of Christian who's all "it's between me and the big guy" and "if you're nice I don't see why you shouldn't go to heaven" and  "I totally get why you're an atheist sometimes I wish I were an atheist" and "no judgment, bro." So it's all very personal for me and also NOT A BIG DEAL.

Like, is it important in my life? Of course. But that doesn't mean you should judge me about it. I probably spend as much time dreaming up sexual fantasies as I do thinking about God, and if you want me to explain all of those to you you have another thing coming.

The point is, you can still be my friend, they won't take away your atheist card. And you don't have to insult me about it. This part, I say for you. Because

I DON'T GIVE ONE SINGLE SHIT.

Honestly, you can't touch this. Maybe you have logic on your side, but I have an omnipotent being who can literally turn you into a pillar of salt if he feels like it. There's no fighting that.  And I believe in that. So why are you trying to convert me or insult me or tell me I'm small-minded?  Why on earth would that bother me?

SPOILER ALERT: IT DOESN'T.

So you're only really succeeding in making yourself look like a dick, which I guess is kind of a public service because now we all know to avoid you. But bashing religion-people just isn't gonna help anyone. Bashing atheists isn't gonna help anyone either. THERE'S NO POINT.

Just stop. Stop with the "religious people are stupid" and the "God is illogical" and the "but science!" I don't care. You're only wasting breath.

The end.